Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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