I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
