so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
