Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
