I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The maid of honor just puked.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
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Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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