Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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