He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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