if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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