I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
