I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Randomize
