Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
