No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
