Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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