I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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