honey bunches of taint.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
