I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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