Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
