the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
