Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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