Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize