Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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