The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
