why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
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they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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