Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
they need to just BURY HIM!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
