Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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