He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
