Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
