Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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