I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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