i think my tv is drunk
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
