Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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