were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
