Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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