I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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