I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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