honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
