Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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