READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Less talking, more tequila
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
