He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
