i just google imaged poop.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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