WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He passed out mid-signature
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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