Umm I'm too high to move.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
