Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
