Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
