well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
