Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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