You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The adults are the big ones right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
