What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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