You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
