he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He shit in the fireplace
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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