Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
