NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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