Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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