And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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