i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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