Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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