I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
