i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
