yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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