No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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