Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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